I thought I've found the secret to happiness. I thought not caring is the key. I thought not caring equals calming your mind. and heart. and body. somehow. I've been, I'd say, okay for more than a year now. 12 months. That's a long time! Long enough for me to think that I'll be okay … Continue reading Fuck
WOW I missed writing Though I'm not reaaally writing I'm just, I don't know. Just want to talk nonsense? I just wanna say that, I'm tired. I am super tired. I hate life. I thought I'd never say that again. But I feel like I really hate life now. Nothing feels right. Everything is going … Continue reading IDK
(This is not a poem. Not even an attempt. Just written that way.) TOTGA, We'd be holding hands Dancing in the rain Driving in the night You'd be looking in my eyes Singing me to sleep My head on your laps I'd be resting on your shoulders Crying all my pain You drying the tears … Continue reading In a parallel universe
I can't even remember when I posted my last entry. Anyway. I just wanted to bid a sweet sweet goodbye to the by far, the worst year I've had. Mentally, emotionally, physically, academically. This is the year I got sick the most. I was also super emotionally unstable. In school, there was a lot. I … Continue reading It’s been a while!
I thought I could manage my depression on my own, without anyone's help. I never thought I would actually reach this point. I thought I love myself enough to not cut myself. Lately I've been having thoughts, or should I say feelings(???), of self-harming. In my case, I cut myself without the intention of actually killing … Continue reading Pain just feels right
After my last post, which I believe feels heavy to read, I'd like to share to you a really nice and inspiring song. Just listen to it when you're feeling down and I'm sure it's gonna help you feel better. I personally am very thankful I discovered this song. This has been helping me to get … Continue reading You’ll Make It Through SOMEHOW
I am writing this to ask for help. So please comment if you think you can. Earlier today I got a letter I never hoped or wanted or expected to ever read. It's a suicide note, posted in tumblr, with my name mentioned in it, from a very close friend. I read it knowing she … Continue reading I just read a suicide note
I hope I never wake up after I sleep tonight.
I always considered myself as an independent and confident person. I never thought of myself as someone who needs somebody else's opinion to continue doing my own thing. I didn't need or want other's validation. I thought I loved myself enough to just keep on being me. Well, yeah, I love myself just the way … Continue reading On Loving Myself
Feel the pain, burst in tears.What words can't say, let your tears explain. Build walls and let no one in. Shut your eyes, cover your ears. Cry... and scream... your heartache and sorrow and distress, the emotional torture you face. Fill the room with your pain. Cry, until you cannot breathe. Cry, until you drown in … Continue reading Let It Out