I just read a suicide note

I am writing this to ask for help. So please comment if you think you can.

Earlier today I got a letter I never hoped or wanted or expected to ever read. It’s a suicide note, posted in tumblr, with my name mentioned in it, from a very close friend. I read it knowing she did not actually do it because it was entitled “suicide note turned appreciation letter”, I also read the last part where she said she realized four things while writing it, and one of it is she still wants to live and pursue her dreams.

But reading it was so fucking scary I didn’t know what to feel or say to that friend. I know it was not the first time she attempted taking her own life, and it’s so scary because she so close to actually doing it.

I immediately contacted our common friends who live in the same area as she do to ask if they’ve read the letter and to look into her condition. I also messaged her and some of her other friends on facebook but seems like no one is online and I wasn’t getting any replies so I panicked for  a while.

Then one of my friends pissed me off tangina (explicit language) after saying something very insensitive. It seems like she’s blaming this friend for not sharing personal issues to them that’s why she ultimately attempted taking her own life. wtf. FYI this girl wants to be a doctor and currently on her premed course but she acts so fucking stupid and insensitive and doesn’t care about mental health i hate it.

YOU KNOW WHAT I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU’RE GETTING THE STORY but I just want to ask for advice, what’s the best thing to do or say to someone who is suicidal. I have depression myself but I don’t think I understand people like them enough to be able to say the right things.

Please I need your help.

4 thoughts on “I just read a suicide note”

  1. Antagone says:
    Reply

    Depression is an extremely isolating condition. It tries to alienate people from those who care the most and makes them blind and/or numb. It makes people feel like burdens, or like they are different from everyone else. I can’t comment on you or your friend, but I think one of the most important things that can be done for extreme depression is to surround that person with a sense of community and understanding. If this were my friend I would be on her doorstep with an open mind. I’d talk about whatever she wanted to talk about, do whatever she wanted to do, and really listen. She clearly feels comfortable enough to share the details with you by posting and tagging you in the letter. And I hope that one of the 4 things she realised is that she has people like yourself who care so much about her. So show her that she’s right! 🙂
    Ps. That pre-med friend of yours is completely off base. She is the reason why people with mental illness find it so hard to share in the first place.
    I hope this was the kind of comment that you were looking for.
    Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    • rantingcat9 says:
      Reply

      I really want to be by her side right now and talk to her personally if only I could.
      First thing I told her when she replied to my message was she can talk to me if she wants. I did not really persuade her to share to me what was going on because I thought it was going to make her feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to make sure she doesn’t feel alone and that I care for her.
      Thank you so much! Your comment definitely helps

      Like

  2. Quatrefoil says:
    Reply

    I’m battling depression myself, and I was put under suicide watch for some time. I am blessed that I have an extremely supportive family, and fiercely loyal friends.

    Hugs have always helped me. I’d rather someone hug me than simply tell me “I’ll pray for you”.

    Interestingly enough, I’m currently relapsing and suffering from something that feels like a withdrawal – due to missing out on my meds.

    Mmm, anyway. According to my doctor, at any sign of suicide attempt – he/she should be rushed to the nearest ER. I think this is protocol – for evaluation and monitoring…

    Your friend shouldn’t be left alone, too. Idle thoughts, idle hands was my case then. I was unfortunately too resourceful and too creative with self-harm tendencies when left alone…

    And uhh, talking to the psychiatrist helped me in some ways. I wanted to name my demon, just so I would know who/what I’m battling with. Also, the medicine helps (if taken consistently and faithfully).

    Thank goodness for friends like you, for being keen and sensitive and truly caring. I wish you and your friend strength and wisdom.

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