Fuck

I thought I’ve found the secret to happiness.

I thought not caring is the key.

I thought not caring equals calming your mind. and heart. and body. somehow.

I’ve been, I’d say, okay for more than a year now. 12 months. That’s a long time! Long enough for me to think that I’ll be okay forever.

Guess what, self. You’re wrong. You are very wrong.

Fuck

I hate this.

I’m having self-harm tendencies again.

I can’t wake up early again.

I. Can’t. Do. Fucking. Stuff. Again.

I feel weak.

I feel worthless.

I feel empty.

I feel useless.

and ironically

I feel, nothing. I feel nothing.

Fuck.

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